My Point Is.....

Ever come across a situation when you're trying to explain something to someone but somehow it's just... not the same? Maybe it's a mistake, or some object, or a feeling. Did you wish that they would just get it? Everyone years for someone that would simply see it their way.

....there is.

Reason #3288313 why I adore my Savior: He understands.
No matter what situation I'm in, no matter how stressed or tired or enraged I am, He listens. He neither interrupts, nor leaves, nor tires. I remember one afternoon when I was sketching, out of frustration, God whispered something to me softly, "I am with you, child." If there was someone sitting next to me, they would not have heard it, but to I, who was spoken to, it was clear as crystal. Tears dampened my eyes-- I wasn't alone. I had never been alone. God knows me inside and out. He knows me more than my boyfriend, more than my best friend, more than my parents, more than I know myself.

He doesn't just know at what minute of what day of what year I said my first word, or when I took my first step towards Him, or when I first discovered the passions He placed in my heart, but He knows where it's all headed. He's not some super computer that stores up the world's information and secrets. A computer can't make novel decisions, a computer can't Love, a computer can't stay with you through thick and through thin. No object or person on this earth can satisfy the hunger for a True Listener, Comforter, or Lover.

God-- constant, never changing, ever present. I live by Him, my life is measured by Him, I base my life around Him.

Puzzle Pieces

Alright, so this isn't really anything I've written recently, but more like a compilation of things from a while ago. I used to write in a diary every night. I'd write about pretty much anything, my day, something I read, thoughts, feelings, friends, fears, the future... you name it, I wrote about it. So these are just a few excerpts from my dairy from the past 2 years or so. Enjoy : ]


Goodnight Moon. May the impossible stop at my feet, say hello to my heart, and step into my life. (February 18th 2007)

I don't know what to believe, I don't know what to decide, but I do know who to love. It's hard to love something in such a hard time of fast decision making and school and friends and boyfriends and sometimes we just have our hands so full. But, I do know what's right, it's right to love God, and it's right to put faith in Him; it's right to put your troubles into his hands and trust Him with everything you've got... it's just hard. (January 11th 2007)

This morning was one of those horrible mornings when you wake up and you really don't want to but your room is really hot and the sun is shining in through your windows and you cant get back to sleep. But you try anyways and you are tossing and turning and are unsurprisingly successful because the sticky heat makes you drowsy, but you end up waking up a full 20 minutes later and repeat the process about 8 times. (Jan. 27th 07)

Goodnight Moon. May I wake up somewhere else.

All I can say to myself is that there's time. There's more time to come and I hope it will arrive... in time...

So, I almost clicked on a pinball game instead of writing my diary tonight, I obviously convinced myself otherwise. (April 17th 2007)

As for a husband you may ask?? Well, we'll just see about that. If I end up having one, then may our lives be happy together, if not; let my life be contempt with my marriage with the Holy Spirit!!!!! (said in black preacher voice :] )

My dreams WILL be accomplished and that's that. Work hard and live a contempt life. Trust and follow God and live a complete life. May tomorrow bring good things.

The only thing was that he was sorta going into his freshman year... in college. But, my mum said he was flirting with me like crazy. Well, I think I secretly agree with her, it was rather obvious. But you never know, he might just be a really super nice and very attractive person trying to make sweet conversation, complimenting me, and smiling at me a lot .

That is my one fear in life. Losing my twin. Losing part of me. Losing my best friend. That's my weak point. If something happens to her, than something equal will happen to me. She and i reflect each other. (August 17th 2007)

Just because you love someone doesn't mean it's not a big deal to say "I love you"

Ok so today I woke up and really felt like shopping. Grocery style. (August 18th 2007)

So, that's been a little update on the past few days. I'd like to say "The End" but it's really not the end, i sorta have the rest of my life to live. (December 16th 2007)

It's just a scary thing to know that one day you're going to leave everything you know, everything you love, for something you aren't even sure about. (diary of December 18th 07)

Adam's Return (Lament)

This poem laments the absence of peace. It’s written in quatrains with lines of dactylic hexameter and iambic pentameter and with a rhyme scheme of ABCB.

Humbled, I cry to the God of the earth and all heavenly beings.

When has it been that the confident song of my spirit diminishes?

Sin draws out tormenting, harrowing, arduous, turmoil daily.

Worry infests in my sanctum, sweet melody finally finishes.

Men without peace are like songs with no melody, kings with no scepters.

See, O God, see what they do to me! False and misleading their pardons!

Scavengers spot me and lure me away from your stronghold at Zion.

Far from my homeland they force me to roam in their Babel of Gardens.

Loathing, self loathing, is dwelling inside me, no hope of escaping.

Conflict embraces its devious nature, infecting my silence.

Bellowing deep within, echoing, echoing, echoing grossly

Fleeting emotions are sin’s revolution, resounding with violence.

I have no rampart to fend off disquietude, mercy release me!

Loss of devotion, the boss of objective, I’m born with infection.

Grief is around every corner while brokenness knocks at my doorpost.

Whoever saw such things? Things that I see in my own sad reflection.

Senseless, bewildered, I look for some shade in this desolate desert.

What do I see in this wilderness? Thriving with life and great valor?

Tired, I sit at the foot of the dogwood tree, thankful for respite.

Something is in me though, something so strong that it rid me of pallor,

Sharp as the sword of a knight, but as smooth as the rock of Mount Zion.

Color I felt rushing back to my cheeks and cool breath filled my being.

No longer the pounding Triskelion running but God’s footsteps pacing.

Whispers so low and non vocal are strange to me, clenching yet freeing.

Succulent promise came. Bittersweet nothingness washed away swiftly.

Suddenly craving for water I’m quenched, never thirsting, I’m stronger

Then some ethereal mist whisked by brushing the tip of my nostril.

Breathing in deeply, the heavn’ly aroma I hold back no longer!

Light of the heavens, do show yourself fully and bless this poor beggar.

When I step out from the shadow Truth shines from every corner.

Treading on ground that is finer than gold and more beautiful still

Given the hope of a life spent with you, I’m no longer a foreigner.

I fall down to my knees and cry to Him,

“Release me from my chains and set me free!”

To You, O God, I give my life’s account.

By Saving Grace you lift me from debris,

Forgive me of my fault, my harm, my sin.

For I have crushed the blameless, beat the poor

My hands have touched; my eyes have seen Your Grace.

In You, O Lord, I stand and can endure.

Let all the nations praise the Prince of Peace!

Should any living man reject His love?

To God I asked forgiveness; He forgave.

He spoke to me, and I became a dove.

The Lord is good to those who trust in Him.

The sun shines bright for I whose trust is thin.

My peace restored, therefore I weep no more.

Forbear, forgive, forget, for peace within.